Here I am again. Starting a new journey. Unsure of the destination, but this time, it's different.
This time I have no fear. This time I don't feel like a 'failure'. This time, I have complete trust in myself. In god. In the universe.
"Why can't I just settle?"
Whenever an old journey ended in the past, I was overcome by fear. "What am I going to do?" "Why have I failed?" "What will people think of me?"
Whenever I left a job. Or walked away from my first business. Or quit a Masters degree three months in. I felt a deeper sense of failure. Of quitting rather than seeing things through. I felt fear for the future, unsure of how I'd survive, make money, feel happy again, rediscover a passion.
But with each of these, I was actually on a learning journey.
Without realising it, I was building up an evidence bank that now bares fruit. This evidence bank proved a few very important things to me:
All of those decisions were the right ones, and this tells me I should trust my gut
I always figured it out and found an even better journey to embark on
These times of uncertainty lead to the best experiences of my life.
This time, I've realised that personal training via Zoom is not something I want to continue doing. I'll talk about this in another post, but ultimately, I'd built up a successful personal training business and eventually, I stopped enjoying it. This time I was able to understand almost immediately and this meant that I was able to take action action quickly. I didn't doubt myself, I just made a plan and executed it.
I don't quite know what I'll do next. I know that I've got a passion for technology, innovation, climate action, running, adventure, and who knows, maybe I'll combine all of those things in the future?
I do have a vague plan and I want to share it with you, because it's something I now revert to when my sense of purpose has faded and I'm feeling unsure of where my next steps are.
Here's the plan:
Take some time to STOP thinking about my next steps. Eliminate those questions for a while - every time my mind wanders into "what is the PLAN??", bring myself back to the present and enjoy what's in front of me.
Run, run, run some more. I'm going to run beautiful trail routes this summer, in Spain, Cyprus and wherever else I end up. Running clears my mind, gives me energy and inspires me. For you, this might be painting, reading, cooking, anything that gets you into your 'flow'.
Read books around things that excited me. I'm currently reading adventure books by women as this inspires me massively and I'm constantly stumbling on things that I'd love to do for myself.
The ultimate message I wanted to share through this post is this though: don't fear the bits in between. You will survive. You will thrive. You'll figure it out eventually. Life is about the journey, and when you've just called time on an old journey, you're on the precipice of a brand new one - how exciting is that?!